Do you have any recurring bad memories that get you down or intimidate you from moving ahead? Do you have a personal negative go-to place in your head when you’re feeling low? Most people do. We are always processing what is going on around us…the good, the bad and the ugly. The challenge is that those impressions that are emotionally charged have a tendency to linger, shift our self image and, as a result, impact our decisions. Here’s how to make the best out of negative memories and make them work for you.
Barry Eisen
Memories are created by experiencing a scene or event through the filters of our past experiences. First we have the event through our specific angle, and then we filter with each new review. Then we blend through the filters of our other past experiences.The retrieval of this memory is really the interpretation of the original event. Memories are associated with good feelings and negative memories are associated with bad or intimidating feelings. The positive associations trigger a dopamine response. Dopamine is the brain chemical that causes us to feel happy, which then draws us to do those actions again. The negative feelings produced by the neurotransmitter cortisol encourage us to shy away from doing those things we now associate with bad or uncomfortable feelings.
The past will remain the past. The way you view your past can weaken you or empower you. Want to change, for the better? How you react to negative memories and reinforce good memories can move you forward more easily.
Here’s a hack that behavioral scientists have found to weaken bad memories and in most situations have those memories work for you.
How to Make the Best Out of Negative Memories?
Edit your script!
1) Picture the negative experience on a television, a computer or a movie theater screen. examples: an embarrassing business presentation on your part, a time you lost your temper with a family member, a time you felt flustered when public speaking, etc.
2) Once you have the past experience in clear focus, take 30 seconds to imagine that picture fading away, becoming smaller and then, be gone.
3) Then immediately fill the darkened screen with the picture you’d rather have as your reality. Be specific and make the scene vivid in color, sound and texture. examples: mentally practice a great sales presentation, speaking with a family member and really connecting, speaking in public creating a strong presence and commanding the room. Thoughts are things. Replace in your mind what you DO want, not what you don’t.
4)Add the feeling of how this positive performance makes you feel. Savor this new/better picture for a few seconds
Do this simple action each day for 2-4 weeks to literally rewire your brain.
Precede this mental rewiring with a few minutes of mentally quieting relaxation and your mind will become more open and responsive. Any relaxation will do to cut back on your internal mental noise and resistance. So focus on a few deep breaths, or use a mental passive scene, a mantra, draw your attention to a spot inside your forehead, use a progressive physical relaxation, or count down from 10-1, or ??? Any relaxation that works for you will enhance your positive success. Keep it simple.
Be consistent and don’t over think. For help on editing or re-scripting click here.
