PMA… Got enough?

Don’t we all know at least one person who can excite a room full of people just by leaving it? Yes, that includes a Zoom room. And how many do we know who light a room just by entering? What’s the qualitative difference that causes us to repel or embrace someone’s energy? Welcome to evidence of PMA. Those who not only possess, but express a Positive Mental Attitude, will be accepted, appreciated, and celebrated. Especially in these stressful times where many find their patience wearing thin and their self control needing some self-talk, practicing the “glass is half-full” view of life will create, maintain and build connection. Wanna raise your PMA? There are solutions.

We all look for heroes with whom to identify. We feel safe and inspired with those who can listen without being judgmental, positively support without being manipulative, lead when there is a need for greater vision, and follow when ideas surpass their own. These are people we find to be comfortable, enjoyable, compelling and energizing and we like them. It’s comfortable to buy from them.

Those who feel secure and confident within themselves generally display the best attributes to keep us engaged. They don’t need to minimize others in order to build themselves and are not threatened to praise others. They see the humanity in others and trigger us to find the humanity and real power within ourselves and, as result, are compassionate, feeling others’ pain and joy. These are the people whom we trust to fight for us and for whom we want to stand. Their humility makes them large and their perspective gives us courage. Security and confidence begin with hopes, dreams and beliefs. It is our accomplishments that deepen those roots of security and confidence. How do we get from wanna-be positive to the real thing, living PMA?

9 SKILLS for Attracting and Building a (PMA) Positive Mental Attitude:

1. Use the word “yes” a lot. Open up to new experiences, people, ideas in music, art, literature, politics. See the broader picture and perhaps you’ll experience a new passion. We all love to be around those who are passionate, interesting and enthusiastically say “YES.”

2. Set business and personal goals that stretch you rather than you playing safe. The attainment of your goals is the by product of the growth you experience in your journey to that goal. You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it. Choose to see Change as stimulating. Set the example for your kids and business associates. It’s leadership by example that marks you for others’ trust.

3. Read positive “How to’s” and autobiographies of successful people. Only fifteen minutes each day adds up to a massive garden of ideas you might otherwise miss. You cannot benefit from the book you don’t read, so tickle your brain with new concepts. Make yourself the problem solver.

4. Show yourself what you can do, and think in terms of how things CAN be done. Negative self-talk does damage to your self esteem and confidence. Most negative people don’t think they are negative, but usually, they refer to themselves as “realistic.” When you catch yourself in a “realistic” or negative head, stop, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what can be done. To distract or change the thought flow, simply picture someone you love, smell a flower, listen to a single sound, or focus with any of your senses. Then move consciously to a thought that serves you. What’s easy to do is easy to replace with practice. Doing this simple, mind focus exercise just 2-3 weeks can shift a lifetime of negativity to a rich, positive mindset.

5. Surround yourself with supportive friends and associates. Negativity is more contagious than COVID-19. Choose with whom you spend your time. Life is too short… selecting your connections matters.

6. Speak only positively of others and if it’s not necessary to say, it is necessary to not say.
Cut out the gossip. The negative energy and time wasted in talking behind someone’s back does nothing for you but create a reputation of small mindedness. Speaking ill of others has no positive end-game as people stay away from gossips knowing that it could be their turn next to be eviscerated.

7. Find and commit to those stations and channels that deliver facts, important news, positive human interest, and ideas that inspire. Stay away from an abundance of negative or sensational reporting.
Adults often replace the gruesome and terrifying nursery rhymes learned in childhood eg: “…he cut off their tails with a carving knife,” “…fell down and broke his crown,” “…along came a spider,” “…couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty together again,” “…she had so many children she didn’t know what to do,” “Mary, Mary quite contrary…” “He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house down,” all followed with “Sleep well kids. Love you” with rioting, political acrimony, natural disasters and corporate felonies.
Instead listen to one of my recorded positive programs. Yes. It’s a shameless plug, and has serious benefit.

8. Make your first impression strong. Smile more, hold eye contact a little longer and, when social distancing is no longer important, shake hands firmly, as these traits let others know you are really glad to be with them. Too often people wait to see if they’re accepted, so instead, BE the one to accept.
There is NO second chance to make a first impression. Be an active listener by asking questions and focussing on being more interested than interesting. Be about the other guy. Pay attention to the answers. Concentrate on remembering names and details of others. With practice, as with any exercise, this will become strong and automatic. And practicing these giving skills sends messages to your brain cells that create images of what you do want to create for yourself. Be the you whom you want. That’s a PMA.

9. Use hypnosis to make positive transitions in attitudes and actions quicker and easier. The quicker and easier you see results the faster you create new go-to behaviors. Your brain is hardwired to resist change. The good news is that the brain has plasticity which allows us to survive/live/thrive by making changes. Aside from experiencing deep relaxation, improving sleep patterns and reducing stress, blood pressure and anger, hypnosis provides for an elegant process of personal, business and PMA development.

Stay safe, loving, kind, and choose to thrive with a PMA.