What To Do When It’s Just Not Working?

When you have done all the planning, your goals are clear, written down, broken down to the specific actions to be taken to achieve them, you have a detailed To-Do list to die for each day, you have been consistent in your follow up/through and you’re still not getting the desired results—what to do when it’s just not working? I know it’s a cliché to say that resistance makes you stronger and moving through the struggle is a character builder (aren’t you tired of building character?)

Over the past many years of speaking and teaching personal development classes in the business world, I periodically get asked the question,” I’ve really worked long and hard at (fill in the blank) and I’m not getting anywhere, what do you think I should do?” While I have always had the approach of, “Don’t should on me and I won’t should on you,” when asked an opinion I will offer one that I feel is appropriate. Here are a couple of thoughts whose timing may be right for you or someone you know. These ideas are applicable to those whose relationships are not working, students who are not doing well, people who are sick and tired of being sick and tired, about being over weight or out of shape and for those having a hard time justifying staying in their sales businesses.

What to do when nothing is working:

1.)  Rather than starting off with a plan of action, answer these questions first: “Over the last 6 months have I been more or less giving in our relationship?” Have I been buying into the negativity and small mindedness out of spite and retaliation?” Or—“Have I been honestly allocating the right amount of time for my school work? Am I allowing my friends to distract me from what I know I need to be doing?” Or—“Am I feeling badly about myself and letting poor eating be my satisfaction? Am I punishing myself by not being more physically active and making excuses to justify being sloppy, lazy and out of control?” Or—“Am I not contacting enough people to make enough presentations that will matter? Am I allowing myself to be sabotaged by the negativity around me so I lose focus during my work time and waste time doing things that just don’t matter? 

In other words, am I approaching what I need to do with integrity and passion or, in all honesty, have I been really only going through the motions?” In answering these kinds of questions, be honest with yourself. For most, the answer is, “I could be doing something a little or a whole lot better.” But, if the answer is “No, I couldn’t do anything better or even differently,” read the handwriting on the wall and do something else. Get out of the relationship, change your major, find a therapist or at least a personal trainer to get you going, or leave your business, since the chances are that you are doing nothing good for yourself, giving your manager all kinds of grief, plus your office could use your space for someone else. The doughnuts at the weekly meeting aren’t worth the time you are wasting that could be doing something real for you. But, if there is room for improvement—

2.)  Give yourself a 6 month period of time to devote yourself to either making it or quitting it. Create new neurological pathways to create new attitudes and habits. Within 6 months you can make stronger commitments to become a better partner a (better listener, kinder, caring) in a relationship, develop better study and test taking habits and be a great student (spending the right amount of time in homework in a real study environment), get in shape and get your healthy body back (modify eating habits a little and do something physically active each day), and create business on a consistent basis about which you can feel proud (make relationships with big producers and find out how to play the game to win). If you put your ALL into it, you may walk away anyway, but you will walk away on your terms and feel good about your next involvement.

You will go in the direction you are looking.

3.)  Set goals that will stretch you out. The tendency for most is to lower expectations when they are not doing well. If you have had a difficult time just doing average or less, just maybe you have been going through the motions, as most do (note that the 80/20 concept is based on well intentioned people doing things in a rather lack luster way) by thinking in terms of mediocrity. Don’t settle for less because you have been achieving less—that’s a big part of the problem. Your relationships, scholastic success, physical health and business will only grow when you do! Set and keep your goals high and worthy of you. Respect yourself and your abilities and set goals that will inspire and motivate you to grow. Overcoming resistance brings success and strength of character. Look up, not down. Pennies are in the street, wealth and fulfillment are in the vision. 

4.)  Act as if you had accomplished your goals/dreams. I’m not talking about being arrogant or boastful, but think how you would be in a wonderful relationship if it already existed. Act that way NOW. As a top student, how would you prioritize your work load, approach tests, select classes that take you into your future? Act that way NOW. How would you eat, exercise and feel your personal power and energy if you were already through the process? Act that way NOW. As a business success, who would you spend your time with, how would you use your time, how would you talk, think, dress and act, where would you vacation, what would your lifestyle be as a financially free entrepreneur? Act that way NOW. The Laws of Attraction work for everyone. Expect them to work for you NOW!

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