An Important Part of Being Present
Have you ever reacted to a situation or a person and later wished you could take the words or actions back? We all have. Hopefully, as we mature we learn to respond rather than react. Being in the moment. Being present. Responding is reacting, with thought. Being able to respond pays off in many ways. Three of the many important reasons are:
- Many business deals include emotions. And emotions cause reactions. Coming from pure, “knee jerk” emotions is hardly ever a good idea. It often causes poor decisions to be made. Words once said or actions inappropriately done cannot be taken back no matter how good an apology is. The stigma of a reaction made in haste, has long term effects on those who felt the negative energy. How many children are devastated by words said in the heat of the moment? How many business negotiations are blown because of inappropriate reactions? Words and the feelings they create can have effects that can last a lifetime, especially to a young impressionable mind or to someone in an emotionally weakened state.
- Success begins with self-esteem. Have you ever felt good about yourself after “barking” at an associate, your child or a friend? Have you ever been cut off on the freeway by someone simply not paying attention (or maybe you were in his blind spot)? Did you get all crazy and beep the horn, hit him with the high beams, pour out the four letter words, give him a physical gesture? He then goes off to live his life, oblivious to what happened, but he goes on living rent free in your head for the next two hours! Imagine the waste of time all due to this mental distraction/reaction. This is to say nothing of the time wasted by others who have to listen to your story. Thank you for sharing!
- When your “buttons get pushed” taking the “high road” develops good character and is an attractive quality others are drawn to and can draw from. (Leadership by example). It’s not the stuff that happens in life that matters nearly as much as the way you respond that either gives you power or takes your power away. (Wouldn’t you think politicians would know and practice this obvious truth? Ah! Human nature, ain’t it grand)?!
Your subconscious processes hundreds of thousands of bits of information each second. It is an amazing tool that is capable of generating appropriate responses in a split second. “Getting composed” is the act of slowing down all this processing to get to the best response for the situation. Slowing down allows your mind to bring together all available data to act in an appropriate manner that serves you well. React vs. respond.
Pay attention to your instinct to react and, instead, take a breath, slow down, pay attention and make your best decision (respond).
As you consciously work on this stimulus-response reflex, it will become automatic and greatly beneficial. React vs. respond.
Those who have practiced meditation or self hypnosis are generally ahead of the game. With practice you can develop deep levels focus and concentration and the ability to make shifts more easily. The more tools you have the more options you have. (In other words-the more tools in the shed, the more you can do in the garden). When situations get intense, whether in business meetings, family confrontations, driving your car, competing in sports or getting into heated political conversations, those who handle situations best are usually those who can shift gears, control their energy and focus it.
A little practice in relaxing everyday provides the internal learning to make these levels of quiet strength available when needed in everyday happenings.
As the New York taxi cab driver responded to the man who asked for directions on how to get to Carnegie Hall— “practice, practice, practice.”