Ever feel like you have an itch that you can’t quite scratch?
Ever feel that you can’t get out of your own way? Welcome to the club, lots of people do, periodically, and some, often. Life can be quite overwhelming when you feel like you’re doing the right thing and the wrong thing keeps showing up. Ignorance is not knowing what to do; insanity is doing what doesn’t work over and over again. You can get unstuck!
Prospecting in an entrepreneurial/sales business has a lot to do with doing the numbers. X amount of calls = X amount of presentations = X amount of closings. It’s about the numbers. But what if you’ve been doing the numbers and your bottom line doesn’t reflect success? Activity doesn’t mean results. Nor does good intentions.
Weight loss is about burning more calories than you consume. It too is about the numbers. What if you’ve been doing the right numbers/actions, but your weight hasn’t budged?
How about any change you desire and work on (eg. reading faster, learning a language, public speaking, learning to relax or deal with stress, going to the gym consistently, controlling certain fears, remembering names, managing stress, de-cluttering, etc.) but you keep quitting or getting disappointed?
Working against yourself is referred to as cognitive dissonance (your values, attitudes and performance don’t line up). You’re doing things that don’t represent what your core values are. Dissonance is another way of saying friction or discomfort usually developing into a low self-esteem and feelings of low confidence. If you’re sabotaging yourself the feelings of negativity can manifest in many ways.
Cognitive consistency exists when your positive values are reflected in a consistently same attitude that produces the expected positive results. This is a concept developed and made popular by the noted and quoted social psychologist, Leon Festinger in the late 1950s.
Here are 7 steps to resolve the unproductive pattern of dissonance, and create cognitive consistency, (i.e.. Get Unstuck!)
1) Recognize that what you’re doing is unproductive and not serving its purpose. Don’t play the blame game and point fingers or use rationalizations. Get past your ego that creates justifications. Back-stories don’t matter. Look forward, not backward. Get unstuck!
2) Ask yourself the question: What do I want instead? How do I find another way of doing things? Google, You Tube, TED Talks, blogs, pod casts, coaching, mentoring, mastermind groups, tutoring, your own company’s’ success stories have answers that have worked for many. Don’t invent the wheel over again. Find an answer, even if it stretches you out of your comfort zone. Especially if it stretches you out of your comfort zone. Get unstuck!
3) Create a new plan in writing. Get your thoughts out of your head and on paper. When you write goals and a plan clearly, half the job is done. Ask yourself, What is my purpose in making a change in lifestyle? If your answer is about money…find a better answer. You know there is one. Money is not a motivator, unless you have none. (And if you have none, think about changing the thinking that hasn’t worked before.) First, What is the long term vision (more than a year)? What is the short term goal? What will the next 90 days bring? What are important daily tasks, decisions or attitudes that will contribute to your success? Do you need to contact more people, spend 15 minutes per day de-cluttering, read 30 minutes each day, spend more quality time with family, etc.? Get unstuck!
4) Share your goals and the changes you’re looking to make with those whom you trust will support your efforts. If negative associations are influencing you to stay the way you are, be willing to minimize or let them completely go. You can’t swim with an anchor around your neck. Don’t tolerate fools or dream stoppers. Get unstuck!
5) Act as if you were already successful in those chosen pursuits. Not suggesting being arrogant or prideful, but check your posture, eye contact, tone of your voice and the words you are using. Negative body reactions, just like negative words and pictures, are internalized by your subconscious mind and reinforce resistance and self-sabotage by the production of the stress neurotransmitter cortisol. The result is being more closed to solutions, options and learning. On the other hand, positive body language, positive words (even those said silently) will stimulate the production of oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin, all neurotransmitters that facilitate learning and getting into the flow (focus) easier. If you find yourself sulking or going through a negative tirade: 1) take a breath, 2) say a silent trigger word like “cancel” and 3) make a better choice. Do this purposely for a couple of weeks and it will become automatic. Bad attitude be gone! Hypnosis downloads and/or CDs can make it easier than you think. Get unstuck!
6) Celebrate your victories. If you pay attention to those around you, you’ll see many who become quite dramatic when things don’t go their way and dismissive of when good things happen. Be aware of letting go of the stuff that doesn’t matter and emphasizing the better choices and outcomes, rather than chalking it up to luck. The mindset of a successful parent, salesperson, student, person, usually has an element of self-assuredness. Pay attention to the “wins.” Maybe keeping a gratitude journal would bring greater appreciation and greater awareness?!?! Get unstuck!
7) Mental practice matters. Visualization of positive performance reinforces and insures a better performance. Do you think athletes go through mental “at bats” in baseball, free throws in basketball, great driving and putting form in golf, etc.? If you reply no, you aren’t looking at the better players. Great sales people, speakers, inventors, performers, chefs, designers etc. practice more mentally than they can or do in the real world. Thoughts are things and you become what you think. Learn and apply the mental discipline and programming techniques of hypnosis/self hypnosis to make everything you do more effortless and effective. Adding another positive tool to your repertoire can only give you more options and better opportunities. Get unstuck!
Times change and so do priorities. But if the thoughts such as: What if I had only continued…? What if I really had stretched out…? What if I asked for help in…? occur every once in a while, don’t make excuses and settle for less. Small shifts can make huge changes.
Scratch that itch! Hypnosis downloads and/or CDs can make it easier. Get unstuck!